And the website said "How does Alli work"???

Another thing I learned today is NOT to take Alli (the new rage in weight loss aids) before going to see a show.

Their website offers these helpful hints:

Undigested fat cannot be absorbed and passes through the body naturally. The excess fat is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

These are known "as treatment effects" and are only referred to as GI side effects.

They go on to say:

Anecdotally, many users have told us that their "treatment effects" (translation: squirting oil out of a fire hose from your backside) served as a signal to adopt healthier eating alternatives.

My thoughts are:

Number One: I'm NOT a big fan of recognizing anything in the toilet after I've had a seat.

Number Two: Oil on top of a pizza? Perhaps more like the oil out of the 50 gallon drum in the alley!

Number Three: If these are treatments effects, than I think I'd rather be FAT!!

Number Four: I think any intelligent adult human being doesn't need a pill to "signal them" to have better eating habits.

More lessons learned: Don't use Alli before being seated in the middle row, get an aisle seat whenever you can in case of emergencies and don't let "Madison Avenue marketing" convince you to lose weight.

Tuna Does Vegas

This afternoon I found out that tickets were still available for tonight's show;

Tuna Does Vegas

and jumped at the opportunity to get a little levity in my day.


I have always enjoyed watching Joe Sears and Jaston Williams in their hilarious acts direct from Tuna, Texas.


So off I go to the Warner Theater tonight to watch, laugh and take a break from the last couple of days of stress.

Halloween Ideas

In preparation for Halloween in the DC area this week end I started to think of various costumes that were affordable and fun at the same time.

What I've come up with so far is this: Chia Obama!!

A little clay colored face make up, a green afro wig and a box decorated with an American Flag.

Now if anyone has any better ideas I am definitely open for suggestions. Just do it soon since I'm running out of time.

Happy Thursday from a chilly and rainy DC.

Allergies, Rashes and other things that go itchy, sratchy

My sister Molly was telling me about our niece's school who has placed a moratorium on bringing homemade goods into the schools because of food allergies of some children that attend there. No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or brown bagging it anymore.

And ONLY store bought "baked" goods at bake sales and PTA fundraisers............ WTF???

Now my younger sister tells me that her kids cafeteria has a Peanut Butter ONLY table for kids that can eat these types of food.

I never remember having to deal with these issues when I was younger but that was something like a half a century ago.

I think that Americans are so caught up with keeping things clean and hygienic and are the ones who are making kids more succeptible to allergies, colds and other sickness.

Just today we were at Target and this guy in front of us was buying about 2 dozen containers of anti-bacterial wipes and proudly proclaimed that he keeps one in his car, on his office desk, at home in the kitchen, bathroom and garage. The check out lady was completely agreeing with him and my mind started to wander.

I glanced over to the next counter and saw the name tag of the young lady of Pacific Rim"ian" decent and started laughing when I saw her name tag: Duk Pu

Now if anyone NEEDS those wipes is the one with a name - Duck Poo!!

Puerto Ri CO-NO-NO

It seems as if every time I travel something silly, stupid or downright ridiculous happens to me. Yesterday was no different.

I arrive at the Saba airport just before the 11am flight was coming in and I notice that it was about to land from the wrong direction which I've never seen before. The security guard told me he had to land this way because there wasn't enough "draft". (my word, not hers) Now it always makes me nervous to fly in & out of Saba and when something out of the ordinary happens it does not help my anxiety.

Needless to say we took off right on time, had a quick layover on St. Eustastiuas, and then headed off for St. Maarten.

Once there I got through Customs and waited patiently for my bag which never came. The conveyor belt stopped and my bag was not there. I went out to the main terminal to check with WinAir. She called to baggage and said my bag WAS there and someone would bring it out to me.

They DID and IT wasn't. Mine, that is. While being similar size & red, it was NOT my suitcase which is filled with cold weather clothes for the trip home. I headed back over to the WinAir counter to discuss my situation and passed this young lady pulling along a red suitcase. I stopped her and asked if she had the right one... She didn't, I did and we swapped. Problem solved!!

Now we're off to Puerto Rico. We landed right on time, got through customs, immigration and collected my "correct" red suitcase and then rechecked it with TSA so they could send it on to my final destination, BWI.

While walking towards the security check points I see this guy in a wheelchair spinning around and doing little wheelies barking out things. He sees me and yells

"HOLE-AHH SEEN YOUR, DOO JEW WAN CHOO CHINE?"

Now I'm thinking (again, dangerous for me) I know he wants something but For the Love of Christ, What the Hell is he saying? I gave him a dollar just to make him go away and as I'm at the security counter taking my "CHOOES" off I realized he wanted to shine my shoes.

Now I get angry at myself because they are matte finished loafers and never would have been shined in the first place.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't carry such a "girly" looking suitcase, Never trust a guy in a wheelchair doing wheelies and accept that my lack of proficiency in Spanglish will cost me every time!!

Ah, Tourists! Gotta Love Them

I saw this cartoon that read:

If there is a "Tourist Season" then why can't we shoot them?

and it got me to thinking (which is a dangerous thing sometimes) about some of the crazy comments and questions that I've heard since I've been here.

Some of these I heard directly and others were shared with me so I'll take some liberties:

"What are those dark spots on the water?" - Ummn, those are shadows from the clouds

"Can you stop the boat on the way back to the harbor so I can collect some of the different colored water?" - Yeah but only if we can stop at the store on the way to buy some more food coloring!

"Does the island go all the way to the bottom?"- No, dipshit - it's on an anchor

"The top of the mountain has snow on it" - Ummn, that would be clouds

"Those crickets kept me up all night"- those are native tree frogs - "Can't you spray for that?"

"Do you catch the lobsters yourself?"- Yeah, I get up a 3 freakin' o'clock in the morning and catch them and then work a 12 hour shift to serve them to you!

"The TV only has 112 channels" - Well, you're on vacation in "paradise" but you're upset because you can't watch Judge Judy???

"Do you offer a local/native wine from Saba?" - Why yes we do, let me run right up to the winery and grab you a bottle

"I'd like to sit outside for dinner but only if there aren't any bugs" - No worries, we quarantined the entire area just for you

To another group member "You can get your drinks out of the honor bar (SHHH) but they don't check so you don't HAVE to write everything down" - That's theft, you crook!

We have a new code name for certain tourists that come through. We call them "Baby Chickens"

CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP............................

It may be a wise decision that I'm flying out today for a little break from the rock...........

Sea and Learn at Tropics tonight

I awoke yesterday morning to find that another one of our orchids had bloomed in the yard. That is always a nice way to start the day!

and today I awoke to find that the little heat wave that we've been having seems to have finally broken and temps are back in the warm range rather than the "Hot as Hell" range which is a good thing because we're hosting today's Sea and Learn program at Tropics.

After serving our normal Sunday Brunch we will get prepped for tonight's movie and dinner poolside.

We are featuring The Cove which is winning awards all over the map. The movie is a documentary detailing the slaughter of Dolphins.

As part of the month long educational series, Sea and Learn discusses many topics relating to nature and the sea not just on Saba but around the globe.

Check out The Cove and become an activist!!

http://www.thecovemovie.com

An Opportunity!

In yesterday's Herald from St. Maarten I found this article about an upcoming Pageant.

Thinking as I do I thought I may enter myself given the fact that I haven't lost those few extra pounds yet.

My main competitors will be Tanique and Natacha but I'll give them a run for the money since it's an all cash prize.

Look out girls, here I come!!

Omar, a year later

One year ago today Hurricane Omar blew through town and messed things up a bit. I remember that we had just arrived on Saba only a few weeks prior and spent a lot of that time helping the hotel owners put up shutters and secure everything.

The Hurricane hit us in the middle of the night so I really slept through much of it and only awoke when it really started howling.

A year later the harbor is pretty much back to normal with the pier rebuilt and in use and the whole thing feels like a distant memory.

Happy Friday from Saba.

A VISA/MASTERCARD Moment!

Paul just forwarded this quote to me and all I could think of was the credit card commercials.

Here's what they "offered" to us for renishing the pool:

Prepare pool surface, apply bond coat and finish $17,775.00
Provide accomodations for 5 men, for 5 days $3,125.00
Provide 3 meals a day for 5 men, for 5 days $500.00
Provide rental car for 5 days $325.00
Provide airfare to and from Saba $590.00
Pay for shipping of all materials & equipment to Saba $500-1,000.00
Drain and refill swimming pool $85.00 per 1,000 gallons

LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT THE LUDICROUSY OF THIS QUOTE:

PRICELESS!!