I saw this cartoon that read:
If there is a "Tourist Season" then why can't we shoot them?
and it got me to thinking (which is a dangerous thing sometimes) about some of the crazy comments and questions that I've heard since I've been here.
Some of these I heard directly and others were shared with me so I'll take some liberties:
"What are those dark spots on the water?" - Ummn, those are shadows from the clouds
"Can you stop the boat on the way back to the harbor so I can collect some of the different colored water?" - Yeah but only if we can stop at the store on the way to buy some more food coloring!
"Does the island go all the way to the bottom?"- No, dipshit - it's on an anchor
"The top of the mountain has snow on it" - Ummn, that would be clouds
"Those crickets kept me up all night"- those are native tree frogs - "Can't you spray for that?"
"Do you catch the lobsters yourself?"- Yeah, I get up a 3 freakin' o'clock in the morning and catch them and then work a 12 hour shift to serve them to you!
"The TV only has 112 channels" - Well, you're on vacation in "paradise" but you're upset because you can't watch Judge Judy???
"Do you offer a local/native wine from Saba?" - Why yes we do, let me run right up to the winery and grab you a bottle
"I'd like to sit outside for dinner but only if there aren't any bugs" - No worries, we quarantined the entire area just for you
To another group member "You can get your drinks out of the honor bar (SHHH) but they don't check so you don't HAVE to write everything down" - That's theft, you crook!
We have a new code name for certain tourists that come through. We call them "Baby Chickens"
CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP............................
It may be a wise decision that I'm flying out today for a little break from the rock...........
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