The Continuation.......

4 weeks ago today I arrived home to DC to take the next step in my life's journey and it's been an interesting evaluation.

I arrived back to welcoming arms of friends and family with everyone wanting to "do something, offer something, help out in any way", etc. It was all pretty darn overwhelming to me.

I allowed myself some time to disconnect from the world for a bit and then started focusing in on what mark I could make on the world once again.

So far I've felt like the little awkward kid standing on the sidelines of the soccer game desparately wanting to be picked for a team to play but ends up just standing there picking my nose. However in my mind it's NOT a soccer game but a dodge ball game and I'm the one they are eyeing, not as a team member, but as the target.

It's been pretty amazing to me that a short time away (18 months) could all but erase a sense of confidence. Just the other day I went to the Target to pick up some supplies and was surrounded by more people in one store than most of the residents of Saba put together and had a little panic attack and started profusely sweating and had to leave. I literally walked away from my cart full of goodies and left and then sat in the car for a half hour just to compose myself.

And of all the "well wishers" attempts to comfort me and to help I find myself avoiding questions of WHY, HOW & WHEN "it" didn't work. All things I don't care to talk about now, and quite possibly, ever.

So as we near the one month mark of being back stateside I have decided to start writing in THIS blog again. Afterall, the "big Saban Adventure" as it started is still ongoing, just moving to a new locale.